The History Channel
Tonight, The History Channel will be airing a special on one of the most important figures in American history. What this man did for race relations in America, is nearly unrivalled. Right now, you're probably assuming that person is Martin Luther King, Jr., aren't you? It would seem to be a good bet, right? Today is a national holiday named after the Reverend Doctor, after all. No, the idiots at The History Channel are taking the occasion of MLK's birthday to air a special on Abraham Lincoln. That's right. King wasn't important at all. King never said or did anything to warrant an in-depth documentary. It was all Lincoln. Lincoln fixed everything when he signed the Emancipation Proclamation. We haven't had any problems or made any progress since then. I don't want to label The History Channel as a bunch of racists, but I have my doubts about this being coincidental. Lincoln's birthday is less than a month away. They couldn't launch it then? No, they chose this evening instead, subtly belittling the accomplishments of one of America's oft-overlooked greats in favor of someone whose every living hour has been gone over with ten million fine-toothed combs. Great job History Channel. Next year maybe you can have a marathon of Confederate War Heroes. May I suggest starting with these paragons of virtue.